I never make New Year's Resolutions. Not that I have anything against them... I just don't think I'm a really "goal-oriented" person. I like to just cruise along, stay afloat, go with the flow, etc. Part of me is happy that way, and I think part of me doesn't feel the need to shoot for anything bigger. Or maybe is afraid to shoot for anything bigger.
Some days it seems like quite an accomplishment to get all of us up, fed, ready, bundled, out the door, to destination, back from destination, probably fed again, down for nap, kick the feet up to recover, think about dinner, everyone up from nap, dinner on the table or in the restaurant, kids to bed, ready to relax again, and the day is over. Every mom's day, right? Also insert constantly picking up the house, laundry, dishes, phone calls, diapers, grocery shopping, oh and of course giving the kids some quality time playing games, reading, or whatever!!
So I really admire some women who, on top of all the things that seem to just do me in on a daily basis, are running businesses, writing books, volunteering, throwing parties, taking classes, pursuing hobbies, leading organizations, and, um, cooking dinner every night.
And I don't mean to say that just being a mommy to my kids and taking care of their daily needs is not big enough or important enough. It totally is. But I want to be better at it, and in so doing, be better at some other non-mommy things, too. I'd like to feel like I have it somewhat together... I will never have it totally together, let's not kid ourselves, here!
As I've been thinking about this, I've realized something I never knew about myself but that has been true all along: I am a terrible time manager. I used to think I was this super organized, structured person. What motherhood is teaching me is that I am not who I thought I was. While I can be organized with things, I am not organized in how I do things, or when I do things, or how long it takes me to do things. I mean, I can be if it's absolutely necessary, but if you give me any room, I will take it!
So when I've ever thought about homeschooling, it gives me the heebie jeebies a little. I would have to be organized. Prepared. Timely. Scheduled. Looking back, I see this was my biggest downfall when I was teaching in a classroom. I put off grading papers. I didn't prepare enough. I wasted a lot of time doing little things that weren't important. I wasn't disciplined enough to always get through everything I had planned for the day. Transition times are rough when you don't have everything together for the next subject. And time is wasted while you're figuring out what comes next when you should have already figured that out ahead of time! So homeschooling, at this point, is out. I just don't think it's a good fit, especially for me and Luke.
All that said, I think I need to start making some goals for myself. If I don't I will get nothing done and constantly feel like, "Man, I'm lame, I never get anything done!" Because when your goal is getting through the day... well, there's not going be much room for anything else! If there's anything I learned in teaching, it's to set your expectations high! Usually kids will rise to meet them. But if you set them low, they'll reach them but rarely go above. I have been setting low expectations for myself. But see, it's hard finding a balance between a) wanting to excel and be better at this and that, and b) taking on too much so that you're just stressed out all the time and running around like a chicken with your head cut off. What I don't want is to just get involved in more things. That gets me feeling overwhelmed and overscheduled and then productivity goes even lower. It's also finding a balance between a) wanting to be something, accomplish something, be recognized for something or be like someone else (the comparison game) and b) being happy with who you are and where God has you.
There are some things, however, I want to do this year, and areas I want to improve in, and I think I should write them down so that then I can go to the next step and figure out practical ways to accomplish them.
#1) Obviously - improve time management. Prepare. Organize. Schedule. At least a little so the day doesn't just go by and I don't know where it went.
#2) Put time in my day to spend time with God, reading his Word. I've pretended for too long that I can just say, "I want to read my Bible everyday" and it will be done. I've got to make a specific time and have someone hold me to it. I know it will be rewarding.
#3) I want to practice my photography and learn more about it. I want to move towards having a photography business someday, like maybe in 2 or 3 years.
#4) I have GOT to start exercising! I have done fairly well with weight watchers this past year (well, when I wasn't taking the week off) and have lost about 20 lbs of the weight I put on having 3 babies in 4 years. But now it's time for the next step - working in excercise 3 or so times a week. There just never seems like a good time to do it. But there never is, so suck it up, Kellie! It is important for me to be healthy!
#5) Write more on the blog. Some of you may be hoping after this post that I'll just stick to cute photos of the kids. But sorry, I like to write, so whether you like it or not, here I come! Well, the lovely thing is, if there are some of my 10 readers out there who don't want to read my ramblings, you don't have to! Writing things down is great - keeps the thoughts from just endlessly bouncing around in my head so I can move on!
#6) Spend less time on the computer when the kids are up.
#7) Get involved with something in more than an "attendance" capacity. Stop using the excuse of 3 small children to not help out with anything! Seriously, around here, 3 is nothing. These women with 4 and 5 put me to shame!! And really, I've got time if I just don't waste it.
#8) Get more involved with managing our finances again instead of depleting them. You're welcome, Dan.
#9) Find more babysitters and go on lots of dates with my husband. My amazing husband who gives me all the support and time I want to do what I want to do. The same one who let me go see a movie by myself yesterday, and while I was gone, totally cleaned up the mess Luke made throwing up all over the couch and carpet. And then today while I slept in he got to clean up the mess Rayna made throwing up in her room. I told him he's at super-dad status now.
Well, there's probably more but we'll just start with that for now. That will be plenty.
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8 comments:
Sounds like a strong list of important goals! I think you are headed for a lot of fun- photography, dates, working out and volunteering/serving! Look out 2010 and beyond, here comes Kellie!
And I am excited to read all of the posts ahead!
I will be praying for you as you work to achieve your goals. I am so grateful that you are the mother of my grandchildren, and my son's wife. Finding a good balance in being and doing are so critical for happiness and satisfaction. One of my goals for the year is to not be "on the go" so much which also takes balance because with Bill being at home while I'm gone he is ready to go rather than be at home. Having to work at balance in life never leaves it just changes.
(This is Katie, but Richard's already logged into Google and i can neve remember my password!)
Kellie, so much of what you said really resonnated with me and where I am right now being a new mom. I only have to manage one little person and yet my days are very much the same. Sometimes I feel like my life is just little chunks of time divided by naps. I have been thinking that maybe God has more for me to do, even if it's simply writing more cards to friends who are going through tough times.
You have inspired me to make a list (I have been resisting making one since being complacent is really much easier than being accountable). This Blogg reader would be happy to see more of your thoughts, they are encouraging and challenging.
Blessings for your 2010 journey,
Katie
Looks like you are going to have a great 2010! I definitely could/should put several of them on my own list. :) Thanks for sharing. And knowing you, I think you're definitely going to excel at each of them.
Something to maybe help with #1: Read "Shopping for Time" by Carolyn Mahaney. It's a TINY little book and makes a LARGE difference in how the reader views, organizes, and uses time. Not that I've mastered it. I should actually REread it. I'm very much just getting through the day every single day, too; and I don't bother setting goals because I'm not even accomplishing everything I hope to on my daily to-do. But I know you're right. If my goals were higher, I'd achieve more. And not just for my own satisfaction--for the glory of God. Look at you all inspiring people and stuff. ;)
Awww, thanks ladies!! Weird putting myself "out there" like that - love you all!
your post is making me get more organized, too. i'm always afraid of losing my time to be spontaneous with the kids if i'm too scheduled, but maybe it'd actually free me since i know what exactly needs to be done... we'll see. :-)
I think most of what you have said is what each of us have to work at - whether we are stay-at-home moms, or working moms, or in many other stages of our lives. I haven't actually sat down and made a list of goals for my year. However, several of the things that you've mentioned are the things that I've set for myself as goals - even if I haven't written them down. I look forward to reading what you write, as I'm sure do others. Talk to you soon!
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